Monday, June 20, 2005

Crazy Mommy

I am such a bum. I have been in my pajamas all day. It has been just been one of those kind of days where I didn't have the energy to muster up getting us both ready and heading out. Really there isn't any place I had in mind to go anyway. I need a few things at the grocery store but why bother getting all ready to go out? I mean spending a half hour getting Em ready to buy the three things I need just didn't feel worth it!
I did manage to catch up on laundry so all was not lost today. Em seems to be catching up on her receptive speech as well. Personally I think those EI people were wrong with there observation but whatever. I asked Em where her cup was today and she crawled across the room, stood up on the coffee table, grabbed her cup, and drank! Yeah Em, now tell me she didn't know what I said... PLEASE.... She also took her first few steps by herself the other day so we are making progress people. She will also stand by herself for long periods of time now so I guess it won't be long before she is all walking all over. She knows how to walk, she just doesn't want to do it by herself, little Turkey! Once she has that milestone under her belt I wonder what other one I will be a worry wart over... Hmmm, maybe talking. Oh yeah, I am getting worried that she is going to be on a bottle until she is 13 as well... She demands to have it still. I wonder if I should wait for her to show no interest in it anymore or I should just go cold turkey with her... The thing with Em though she has always told me when she is ready for everything... She let me know when she was done with formula, when she wanted solids, when she was going to crawl, and so on... so maybe I should just wait until she is ready to give up the bottle, but I swear I will make her stop by the time she is in High School.
Keith finally was able to get on a computer and see some pictures of Emily and read about what has been going on here at home. He is upset that he is missing so much. I don't think I could ever leave Em for any amount of time. The longest that I have been away from her was at my BIL's wedding and my parents watched her. That is it. Yes, I am crazy, I have come to terms with that people.
Keith said she looks bigger already, I think she has gotten so big. I think about where we have come from and where we are now with her. It amazes me... she is such a beautiful little girl, we are so blessed and lucky to have her. It might have taken 9 years to have her but she was worth every tear I shed, the heartache, all the doctors, the surgeries, and so on. If there is one thing I want Emily to hold in her heart always is that Mommy and Daddy wanted her, she was always wanted... from the moment I knew she existed she was loved more than anyone or thing. She will make mistakes but she will never go a day without being loved and wanted. She is my life, she is my joy. Some times I think about all we did to have a baby, we gave up and thought it would never happen. I look at her today and thank God for giving her to us, for her being determined, strong, and healthy.... She was worth the wait. I can't imagine how much Keith misses her...
I know I talk about having another but I know it probably will never happen. I am lucky to have Em after everything we went through. Keith and I have so much love to give though... But, I am thankful for Emily, I am more than happy.
So, Keith if you read this blog again.... know that we both miss you and love you. Emily is your little girl always no matter how big she gets... Everytime I look in her eyes I see you and smile... she is our joy, our heart.... together always.... xxoo