How is it going?
That seems to be the question I hear almost daily from people so I will go ahead an answer it for everyone...
Not too shabby I guess for just having surgery and dealing with a newborn, a stubborn almost 4 year old and a husband who is coming home from Iraq in days and wants me to make a 13 hour drive to get him. (With a newborn, Em, and his mother) Not too shabby?
The surgery was surgery... can't say it was great but it was what I expected. Thankfully it wasn't pushed back and I didn't have to wait around all morning thinking about it. My mother and I got to the hospital for 5:30am and I had the surgery at 8. I won't get into how it took 4 attempts to get an IV in me and how after going through that my mother felt the need to tell me to stop swearing at the nurses.... I am sure they loved me. Anyway, they wheeled me down to OR and when the double doors opened up there were a bunch of people waiting for me. It was creepy because they all were smiling like I was going for a spa treatment. My nerves were kicked into overdrive at that point and I was shaking uncontrollably... People kept asking if I was cold, UMMMM NOOOOOOO, you are about to cut me open, I am a little nervous dumb asses! So then came the dreaded Spinal. I am sitting on the side of the table all hunched over just like in all the baby stories you see on TV. The nurse is trying to be nice and tell me it doesn't hurt. Bullshit! It hurt and it hurt allot you lying bitch! :) Lots of hurtful pressure on my spine and then a strange warm feeling tinkling down my legs... then poof, I can't move them anymore. They layed me down, tied me down like I am Frankenstein and then two doctors come in and I hear "incision 8:09"... Ummm, nothing like knowing you are being cut open and just laying there tied down, trying to concentrate on other things and not vomit. My mother appeared at some point at my side for like 5 minutes exactly until the baby was born at 8:14 then she took off to see her and said screw me....LOL I layed there longer waiting for the nurse to bring her to me and it took almost a damn half hour!!! BASTARDS!! Finally they brought her over and she was wrapped up in a little receiving blanket all pink and pissed off that she had been brought out of her warm little bubble. She looked like a little wrinkly old man, but a cute one and any fears I had of not loving her as much was I would love Em vanished. I don't know if there is such a thing as love at first sight when it comes to meeting your significant other but what I do know is that it rings true when you see your child for the first time. The instant I saw her she was mine and I loved her equal to that of her sister.
I was wheeled down to recovery where I was checked every few minutes and annoyed with questions on how I was feeling... Olivia was in the nursery being checked herself and being made to pass her own set of tests. Finally they brought her to me again and we tried the whole breast feeding thing. Never in my life have so many people not only seen my boobs but they kept being squeezed so tight like they were in a damn vise. I don't think any of those nurses in that hospital ever heard of the word gentle...
I had to beg the nurses to take the IV out of my arm and catheter out later ... They wanted me to have all that shit on me for another 12 hours and as soon as I wasn't "paralyzed" anymore I promised them I could take a pee on my own without falling over. The day nurse wasn't buying it but as soon as her replacement came in I tried again on her and she bought it. She took everything out for me except the IV in case the doctor ordered something but it wasn't hooked up to anything, it was just taped in my arm. She brought me to the bathroom to "prove I could pee" and I don't know about you but I can't exactly pee in front of an audience so she threatened to put everything back in... that did the trick and I was never so happy to go pee in my life. There was no way in hell I wanted another pissing bag hooked up to for another 12 hours... I didn't care if I just got cut open, I was going to make the walk to bathroom if it friggin killed me!!
I spent three nights in the hospital but it was supposed to be 4. On the third day I begged (again) to be bailed out and on the nurse did up the paperwork for the doctor to sign. That is the only nurse I really liked there.... When I got home I was sore and tired and worried that breast feeding was natural for other mothers and not myself. I almost gave up... But now it is working out well and Olivia has gained a pound since we have been home. She is a piggy... and my boobs and sore as hell from her chomping on them !!!
So, that is how the hospital went... Not so much fun. Everyone keeps asking how Em is with Olivia. She is awesome! I have not seen a jealous bone in her body. I know it's early but so far so good. She is a great helper and gives Olivia kisses without anyone asking her... She calls her sister "my baby" and is very guarded of her as well. I am really proud of her for being so mature and such a good little helper. I know it could be a horrible experience and I am grateful that so far we have not had to deal with that.
Keith was sent pictures within hours of Olivia's birth. Neither of us feel that she looks like either of us. I see Em's expressions at times but as far as looks go I don't think they look too much alike either. Em has dirty blonde hair with big dark brown eyes and Olivia is very fair haired (you can't even see her eye lashes they are so white), and I am pretty sure her eyes are staying blue. Em has her father's facial bone structure with the chiseled jaw line and Olivia has a fat round face with big cheeks (okay so maybe that is my facial structure)... But at times I can see how they look like sisters...
As far as me goes... Well, the day before my surgery I was finally diagnosed with Pre-Eclampsia again. My blood pressure had been going up for a few weeks and finally the day before they found proteins in my urine. At that point everyone was glad they moved my CSection up early. I once again was swollen beyond normal recognition and already lost 25 pounds of just water weight since I gave birth. Let's just say it wasn't pretty people.... I am doing better though and feel more like a human being and not a marsh mellow...Now I just feel like a milk machine.
So that is pretty much the whole birth drama. It's strange still to think that I have two kids. I look in the back seat of my car and see two car seats and two little faces... It was too long ago Keith and I were told that we would never have kids. Now we had to take measures to make sure we don't have anymore. We are content and blessed to have our two girls. We never imagined that we would have one let alone two beautiful healthy little girls to raise and love. Yes, there are moments of not sleeping and feeling like you are going crazy from lack of sleep, chaos,crying, and temper tantrums galore... But the little kisses and hugs and moments of kindness along with snuggles all make up for that. I am kind of sad in a way that I will never have a little one growing inside of me again but there are no regrets. My body has gotten sick twice being pregnant and I don't want to gamble again with yet another life. We were extremely lucky with Emily and to go full term with Olivia is more than what Keith and I ever expected or imagined would happen. Pushing 40 I don't think my body can take it anymore as well... It's time to enjoy the ones we have an concentrate on them. There is still a twinge of grief though as it is so fresh but with that is the reminder of how fast they grow and to enjoy all that we have.
So, Keith is coming back from Iraq in a matter of days now, not weeks. It is odd to think that. I have been concentrating so much on being pregnant and giving birth that I almost forgot he was coming home not long after. I am driving down to NC to get him with both girls and his mom to help me with them as she can not drive. So, let's pray that I am not sleep deprived and can handle all the driving myself. I think we are going to have to spend the night on the road although I almost don't want to. I want to just get it the hell over with. I guess it all depends... I am going to have to make allot of stops to nurse and take care of Em's needs so it's going to be an extremely long drive either way. We will be in NC for a few days upon Keith's homecoming. I know it's going to be strange for him to come home to a whole new person in his family... It's still strange for me to have Olivia and I gave birth to her! Luckily with Keith coming home this time we both know it's for good as he has orders for Hawaii and at that duty station he won't be going any place. It will be good to know it is a permanent homecoming and not have another deployment hanging over our heads to worry about months from now. Now we can raise our girls together and he won't miss gaps of their lives like he did with Emily twice now.
Speaking of Hawaii... still trying to adjust to thinking about living there. Most would say "what the hell are you crazy, it's Hawaii!!" Yeah, for some reason I keep equating it to Japan in my head so I have yet to get too excited about it. That and It's going to be a pain in the ass to move two kids, two dogs, and two cars there... That's allot of planning, preparation, organization, and above all STRESS people!!! I will be glad when we are all settled and exploring our new home. I will make sure and take lots of pictures for you, especially when it's still 80 there and you all are having snow storms... wouldn't want you to think I missed it...LOL
So, that about wraps things up for now. I have to go and shower up and get Em ready for the day... It's only the afternoon now so I guess I should get off my ass....
Have a happy Easter and enjoy...
Not too shabby I guess for just having surgery and dealing with a newborn, a stubborn almost 4 year old and a husband who is coming home from Iraq in days and wants me to make a 13 hour drive to get him. (With a newborn, Em, and his mother) Not too shabby?
The surgery was surgery... can't say it was great but it was what I expected. Thankfully it wasn't pushed back and I didn't have to wait around all morning thinking about it. My mother and I got to the hospital for 5:30am and I had the surgery at 8. I won't get into how it took 4 attempts to get an IV in me and how after going through that my mother felt the need to tell me to stop swearing at the nurses.... I am sure they loved me. Anyway, they wheeled me down to OR and when the double doors opened up there were a bunch of people waiting for me. It was creepy because they all were smiling like I was going for a spa treatment. My nerves were kicked into overdrive at that point and I was shaking uncontrollably... People kept asking if I was cold, UMMMM NOOOOOOO, you are about to cut me open, I am a little nervous dumb asses! So then came the dreaded Spinal. I am sitting on the side of the table all hunched over just like in all the baby stories you see on TV. The nurse is trying to be nice and tell me it doesn't hurt. Bullshit! It hurt and it hurt allot you lying bitch! :) Lots of hurtful pressure on my spine and then a strange warm feeling tinkling down my legs... then poof, I can't move them anymore. They layed me down, tied me down like I am Frankenstein and then two doctors come in and I hear "incision 8:09"... Ummm, nothing like knowing you are being cut open and just laying there tied down, trying to concentrate on other things and not vomit. My mother appeared at some point at my side for like 5 minutes exactly until the baby was born at 8:14 then she took off to see her and said screw me....LOL I layed there longer waiting for the nurse to bring her to me and it took almost a damn half hour!!! BASTARDS!! Finally they brought her over and she was wrapped up in a little receiving blanket all pink and pissed off that she had been brought out of her warm little bubble. She looked like a little wrinkly old man, but a cute one and any fears I had of not loving her as much was I would love Em vanished. I don't know if there is such a thing as love at first sight when it comes to meeting your significant other but what I do know is that it rings true when you see your child for the first time. The instant I saw her she was mine and I loved her equal to that of her sister.
I was wheeled down to recovery where I was checked every few minutes and annoyed with questions on how I was feeling... Olivia was in the nursery being checked herself and being made to pass her own set of tests. Finally they brought her to me again and we tried the whole breast feeding thing. Never in my life have so many people not only seen my boobs but they kept being squeezed so tight like they were in a damn vise. I don't think any of those nurses in that hospital ever heard of the word gentle...
I had to beg the nurses to take the IV out of my arm and catheter out later ... They wanted me to have all that shit on me for another 12 hours and as soon as I wasn't "paralyzed" anymore I promised them I could take a pee on my own without falling over. The day nurse wasn't buying it but as soon as her replacement came in I tried again on her and she bought it. She took everything out for me except the IV in case the doctor ordered something but it wasn't hooked up to anything, it was just taped in my arm. She brought me to the bathroom to "prove I could pee" and I don't know about you but I can't exactly pee in front of an audience so she threatened to put everything back in... that did the trick and I was never so happy to go pee in my life. There was no way in hell I wanted another pissing bag hooked up to for another 12 hours... I didn't care if I just got cut open, I was going to make the walk to bathroom if it friggin killed me!!
I spent three nights in the hospital but it was supposed to be 4. On the third day I begged (again) to be bailed out and on the nurse did up the paperwork for the doctor to sign. That is the only nurse I really liked there.... When I got home I was sore and tired and worried that breast feeding was natural for other mothers and not myself. I almost gave up... But now it is working out well and Olivia has gained a pound since we have been home. She is a piggy... and my boobs and sore as hell from her chomping on them !!!
So, that is how the hospital went... Not so much fun. Everyone keeps asking how Em is with Olivia. She is awesome! I have not seen a jealous bone in her body. I know it's early but so far so good. She is a great helper and gives Olivia kisses without anyone asking her... She calls her sister "my baby" and is very guarded of her as well. I am really proud of her for being so mature and such a good little helper. I know it could be a horrible experience and I am grateful that so far we have not had to deal with that.
Keith was sent pictures within hours of Olivia's birth. Neither of us feel that she looks like either of us. I see Em's expressions at times but as far as looks go I don't think they look too much alike either. Em has dirty blonde hair with big dark brown eyes and Olivia is very fair haired (you can't even see her eye lashes they are so white), and I am pretty sure her eyes are staying blue. Em has her father's facial bone structure with the chiseled jaw line and Olivia has a fat round face with big cheeks (okay so maybe that is my facial structure)... But at times I can see how they look like sisters...
As far as me goes... Well, the day before my surgery I was finally diagnosed with Pre-Eclampsia again. My blood pressure had been going up for a few weeks and finally the day before they found proteins in my urine. At that point everyone was glad they moved my CSection up early. I once again was swollen beyond normal recognition and already lost 25 pounds of just water weight since I gave birth. Let's just say it wasn't pretty people.... I am doing better though and feel more like a human being and not a marsh mellow...Now I just feel like a milk machine.
So that is pretty much the whole birth drama. It's strange still to think that I have two kids. I look in the back seat of my car and see two car seats and two little faces... It was too long ago Keith and I were told that we would never have kids. Now we had to take measures to make sure we don't have anymore. We are content and blessed to have our two girls. We never imagined that we would have one let alone two beautiful healthy little girls to raise and love. Yes, there are moments of not sleeping and feeling like you are going crazy from lack of sleep, chaos,crying, and temper tantrums galore... But the little kisses and hugs and moments of kindness along with snuggles all make up for that. I am kind of sad in a way that I will never have a little one growing inside of me again but there are no regrets. My body has gotten sick twice being pregnant and I don't want to gamble again with yet another life. We were extremely lucky with Emily and to go full term with Olivia is more than what Keith and I ever expected or imagined would happen. Pushing 40 I don't think my body can take it anymore as well... It's time to enjoy the ones we have an concentrate on them. There is still a twinge of grief though as it is so fresh but with that is the reminder of how fast they grow and to enjoy all that we have.
So, Keith is coming back from Iraq in a matter of days now, not weeks. It is odd to think that. I have been concentrating so much on being pregnant and giving birth that I almost forgot he was coming home not long after. I am driving down to NC to get him with both girls and his mom to help me with them as she can not drive. So, let's pray that I am not sleep deprived and can handle all the driving myself. I think we are going to have to spend the night on the road although I almost don't want to. I want to just get it the hell over with. I guess it all depends... I am going to have to make allot of stops to nurse and take care of Em's needs so it's going to be an extremely long drive either way. We will be in NC for a few days upon Keith's homecoming. I know it's going to be strange for him to come home to a whole new person in his family... It's still strange for me to have Olivia and I gave birth to her! Luckily with Keith coming home this time we both know it's for good as he has orders for Hawaii and at that duty station he won't be going any place. It will be good to know it is a permanent homecoming and not have another deployment hanging over our heads to worry about months from now. Now we can raise our girls together and he won't miss gaps of their lives like he did with Emily twice now.
Speaking of Hawaii... still trying to adjust to thinking about living there. Most would say "what the hell are you crazy, it's Hawaii!!" Yeah, for some reason I keep equating it to Japan in my head so I have yet to get too excited about it. That and It's going to be a pain in the ass to move two kids, two dogs, and two cars there... That's allot of planning, preparation, organization, and above all STRESS people!!! I will be glad when we are all settled and exploring our new home. I will make sure and take lots of pictures for you, especially when it's still 80 there and you all are having snow storms... wouldn't want you to think I missed it...LOL
So, that about wraps things up for now. I have to go and shower up and get Em ready for the day... It's only the afternoon now so I guess I should get off my ass....
Have a happy Easter and enjoy...