Who is that?
I look in the mirror and I see an old face... I might have lost weight but I look old and tired. I have these huge black puffy bags under my eyes that look horrible. It would be easy to blame it on the baby and say I never get any sleep because of her... That would be lie though... She sleeps all night and is in bed by 8 most nights. I could go to bed earlier than I do but then where would my life be? My Julie time would totally be gone if I didn't stay up just a bit to surf the net or read... lay on the couch and snuggle with the dogs... Those are the three things I do to unwind at night and try to re-claim something of myself. The Julie from pre-Emily no longer exsist, she is long gone. Em is going through a growth spurt and is having long sleep days... she slept in until 9am this morning then not long after she woke she took a 2 hour nap. Not only could I not sleep any longer than 7:30 BUT I couldn't even take a nap later. Pre-Emily Julie could nap at any time of day... I was like a stinkin cat.... I could sprawl out anywhere and purrr into a nice sleep. This afternoon I layed on the bed looking up the ceiling thinking of crap... My brain refuses to shut off during day-light hours. It sucks!! Never mind the fact that if have the hearing of a Momma cat when it comes to Em... If she makes any noise at all I feel the need to check on her. Ahhh, maybe in like 18 or 20 years I will be able to nap again.
So, Keith is going to Iraq in just a few weeks. Reality is setting in... Keith will be in Hell, danger, and I will be worried sick at home alone raising Em, the farm, and taking care of everything myself....Hmmm, this should be interesting. I refuse to let myself spiral down into some sort of depression, Em deserves more than that. I want her to be happy and see her Mommy happy...Knowing that she loves her Daddy. Things will be hard for Em and I but it will be harder for Keith and I will remember that everyday.
Anyway, Em is changing more and more everyday. She is trying to "cruise" the furniture now. She falls all over the place... she has learned to fall on her butt and doesn't seem bothered by the fact that she keeps falling. She is always determined in everything she does. I took her to the Dr the other day for her 12 month check up. I hate doctors... they were concerned that she wasn't walking... Ummm, I don't know to many normal babies that are by 1. Okay, so I don't hate Drs, I just hate the way they make me feel when I leave their office. She has to go to a preemie evaluation to make sure she is up to par in her milestones. Whatever, I know she is. Emily does things when she wants... I have been a slow learner when it somes to that last statment but I know it well now. She is doing great... I would be really concerned if she wasn't crawling or maybe even pulling up but she is. She is just unsure of herself when walking... she always goes right down to her booty to crawl instead of walking... so, when she is ready she will do it...
Em and I went to NY to visit with family. She had a good time with her cousins and learned some new "tricks" that she still does here. She screams now like Caty... Okay, not as glass shattering but she is getting there. She screams at me if I say No, If she wants out of her highchair, if she is pissed at herself about doing something wrong. Aunt Julie says thanks a lot Caty!! Then from Joey she has learned to take every toy within reach and throw it all over the place and make a nice huge mess.... Again, Aunt Julie says thank you.... Anyway, it was a nice visit. I am sure though that my parents did the happy dance once they got home... I know having us come there is a huge ordeal for them. We make a mess of their house, eat their food, spend their money, they do our laundry, and have to deal with the whole baby thing... I know it is alot for them. I like being home though and being around everyone. I want Em to know her whole family.
Well, I guess I will go for now. Ta-ta and if you have any beaut tips for me please feel free to leave them...
So, Keith is going to Iraq in just a few weeks. Reality is setting in... Keith will be in Hell, danger, and I will be worried sick at home alone raising Em, the farm, and taking care of everything myself....Hmmm, this should be interesting. I refuse to let myself spiral down into some sort of depression, Em deserves more than that. I want her to be happy and see her Mommy happy...Knowing that she loves her Daddy. Things will be hard for Em and I but it will be harder for Keith and I will remember that everyday.
Anyway, Em is changing more and more everyday. She is trying to "cruise" the furniture now. She falls all over the place... she has learned to fall on her butt and doesn't seem bothered by the fact that she keeps falling. She is always determined in everything she does. I took her to the Dr the other day for her 12 month check up. I hate doctors... they were concerned that she wasn't walking... Ummm, I don't know to many normal babies that are by 1. Okay, so I don't hate Drs, I just hate the way they make me feel when I leave their office. She has to go to a preemie evaluation to make sure she is up to par in her milestones. Whatever, I know she is. Emily does things when she wants... I have been a slow learner when it somes to that last statment but I know it well now. She is doing great... I would be really concerned if she wasn't crawling or maybe even pulling up but she is. She is just unsure of herself when walking... she always goes right down to her booty to crawl instead of walking... so, when she is ready she will do it...
Em and I went to NY to visit with family. She had a good time with her cousins and learned some new "tricks" that she still does here. She screams now like Caty... Okay, not as glass shattering but she is getting there. She screams at me if I say No, If she wants out of her highchair, if she is pissed at herself about doing something wrong. Aunt Julie says thanks a lot Caty!! Then from Joey she has learned to take every toy within reach and throw it all over the place and make a nice huge mess.... Again, Aunt Julie says thank you.... Anyway, it was a nice visit. I am sure though that my parents did the happy dance once they got home... I know having us come there is a huge ordeal for them. We make a mess of their house, eat their food, spend their money, they do our laundry, and have to deal with the whole baby thing... I know it is alot for them. I like being home though and being around everyone. I want Em to know her whole family.
Well, I guess I will go for now. Ta-ta and if you have any beaut tips for me please feel free to leave them...