Poor Little O'l Me
I had some sort of crazy moment today where I thought to myself that I should work part-time while Keith is in Iraq... That lasted like a half a minute. I can't do that to Em. It is bad enough her father is going to be gone from her life from anywhere to 7-14 months but to place her in daycare and have me gone as well is just too much. I think I thought I would get bored here by myself day in and day out so it would eat up some time. But I have to remember I have plans to visit family during the holidays and of course Elaine will be right down the road. Her hubby is going with my hubby so we will be able to do this together. That is the one thing I am holding onto is the fact that I will have somebody I completly trust, a dear friend, and somebody I can totally be myself around. I have family to call of course and another dear friend who will only be 5 hours away... my other friend Terry who is all around my family, I am sure I will call her and bug her as well. And of course my sister who like my mother has some sort of ability to know when I need them. So, I will have a strong support system. I am allowing myself a short period to feel sorry for myself, I think I need to do that so I can just get on with it. Here is my list.
1. The holidays are going to suck ass
2. Mowing the lawn is going to suck ass
3. Mowing the lawn during the fall with all the pine needles and leaves are going to suck ass
4. Everyone is going to feel like they have to be super sweet to me is going to suck ass
5. Being alone all the time is going to suck ass
6. Not knowing is going to suck ass
7. Nobody at night to talk with is going to suck ass
8. Seeing couples together is going to suck ass
9. Doing everything around the house by myself is going to suck ass
10. No help ever is going to suck ass
11. Going on with daily life is going to suck ass
12. Watching the news is going to suck ass
13. Going everywhere alone is going to suck ass
14. Missing Keith is going to suck ass
I am sure there is plenty more that I will be adding to the list as time goes on!
Anyway, pity party for me! I know it is going to suck for Keith, it is just going to suck all the way around...
UGH... Em just woke up for some strange reason. She ALWAYS sleeps through the night so maybe she had a bad dream. I rocked her for a bit and all is quiet right now.
Anyway, I haven't been out of the house in two days so tomorrow I am determind to. It has been pissing out and I haven't wanted to take Em out in it. She just got over being sick so I really didn't want to if I didn't have to. Don't have any idea where we will go but she always enjoys people watching so it doesn't really matter to her. Tomorrow night Keith leaves for his training for three weeks.... I guess this is my training as well... I have been seperated from Keith plenty before but not like this, not combat... not worry and fear. Not with a child. I needed this time to feel selfish and have my pity party... Tomorrow I wake up with my OhhRahh face and know that I am a strong Marine Corps wife, A strong Marine Corps Mommy... I can do this and I will. All of us can.
Until next time....
1. The holidays are going to suck ass
2. Mowing the lawn is going to suck ass
3. Mowing the lawn during the fall with all the pine needles and leaves are going to suck ass
4. Everyone is going to feel like they have to be super sweet to me is going to suck ass
5. Being alone all the time is going to suck ass
6. Not knowing is going to suck ass
7. Nobody at night to talk with is going to suck ass
8. Seeing couples together is going to suck ass
9. Doing everything around the house by myself is going to suck ass
10. No help ever is going to suck ass
11. Going on with daily life is going to suck ass
12. Watching the news is going to suck ass
13. Going everywhere alone is going to suck ass
14. Missing Keith is going to suck ass
I am sure there is plenty more that I will be adding to the list as time goes on!
Anyway, pity party for me! I know it is going to suck for Keith, it is just going to suck all the way around...
UGH... Em just woke up for some strange reason. She ALWAYS sleeps through the night so maybe she had a bad dream. I rocked her for a bit and all is quiet right now.
Anyway, I haven't been out of the house in two days so tomorrow I am determind to. It has been pissing out and I haven't wanted to take Em out in it. She just got over being sick so I really didn't want to if I didn't have to. Don't have any idea where we will go but she always enjoys people watching so it doesn't really matter to her. Tomorrow night Keith leaves for his training for three weeks.... I guess this is my training as well... I have been seperated from Keith plenty before but not like this, not combat... not worry and fear. Not with a child. I needed this time to feel selfish and have my pity party... Tomorrow I wake up with my OhhRahh face and know that I am a strong Marine Corps wife, A strong Marine Corps Mommy... I can do this and I will. All of us can.
Until next time....