Wednesday, September 21, 2005

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

It's funny how things change once you are actually a parent, your ideas and beliefs on how to raise your child. I remember watching parents prior to Emily having all sorts of ideas on how discipline should be handled, what they were doing "wrong". Now I know that people without kids should shut the hell up because they don't have a friggin clue what they are thinking or talking about. Not that anyone has said anything to set me off.... I was just talking with my parents and my sister tonight and the past few nights, and we were talking about my situation. It got my to thinking about what a dumb ass I was in the past prior to Emily... I had this way of thinking that my child would be perfect because I would keep them in line...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a very stupid person I was.... I have taken a lot of time to think things over the past few weeks. I have had to take all these so called beliefs and pre-child ideas that I carried around with me for 9 years while trying to conceive and flush them out of my brain. As Dr. Phil would say " How's that working for ya".... Not so much, not so good.... so I decided to change it. Enter the New and improved Mommy Julie. The one that has been staying calm, praising her daughter for every positive thing she does, giving lots of hugs and kisses while whispering how much Mommy and Daddy loves her for being the person she is, Telling her how proud I am of her.... You get my point. Much better than the gritting my teeth, feeling my heart pound through my chest, pinging over every little thing. Much better for her, much better for me.
So, to my little Turkey, thank you for being you, thank you for teaching me what it is to be a good Mommy, thank you for all your hugs and kisses that you have given back the past couple of days, thank you for smiling at me when you see me across the room, thank you for being yourself and dancing in circles while listening to the Wiggles, Thank you for being my daughter and loving me even when I am still learning how to be the Mommy I want to become.... Besides your Father you are the best thing that has ever happened in my life, I will always adore you for who you are and do my best to make you proud, give you a safe place to fall, give the best of myself to you so you can grow to be a healthy, independent, and a strong person. I will not fail you, never you, I promise that always.
Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive lately. I know I have been going through a lot, I appreciate everyone's advise and support. I have added a few Blogger Babes to my Blogroll, check them out! I finally did that at least, I have been meaning to for awhile now.
Keith is doing well, I have talked to him here and there. It has been a month since he left.... We still have half a year left. It sucks. That is such a long time but what can I do? I have a billion things to take care of here, I guess I just need to concentrate on that and let the time pass. I put care packages together for him, write to him and get to talk occasionally to him as well. It helps being able to do all of those things. The worst part is at night once Emmy has gone to bed. The house is so quiet and that is when I start thinking about how much I miss him. The phrase "sacrifice for your Country" does not seem to do it justice. Yeah, I am sacrificing my husband for this country, Emily is her father... Keith is living in a warzone, I am busting my ass everyday, Emily is changing everyday and her father does not get to see it. There is so much we are loosing on a daily basis by having him gone.... so much he is missing. Yet all we really get out of this is a Thank you for doing your part. Not that I really expect anything from anybody... I just feel like we are doing all this shit and nobody fully understand what is like or what we go through, it is all taken for granted.
Anyway, some of Em's new things are...
Walking backwards, spinning in circles, running, taking her clothes off, dipping her head under the bath water, kicking and throwing balls, hiding behind the curtain, handing Mommy the clothes one by one as I fold them out of the dryer, handing me her cup instead of throwing it at me, coming when I call her, "reading" books in her crib when she wakes up, running to her room with her cookies so the dogs won't get them from her, starting to learn how to step down without falling....
Those are it, I think. Words are still few and far between, but they will come. She is more interested in doing things right now instead of talking.
I need to get to bed.... Cya people.