MmmmmmWhaaaaaaa
I think God thinks it's funny how when I gave birth to Emily he sucked up all my energy and gave it all to her. Hahaha God, very Funny, you got me!! Now stop laughing and give me back some energy! Seriously, I think it is not too much to ask to allow me the strength to stay awake past 9pm. I think the very least God could do for us mothers when giving birth are these 3 Things.
1. When we give birth we also grow another arm.
2. A Patch of Velcro grows on yours and the baby's hip to allow easier carrying.
3. Some sort of internal battery pack that can be charged up in an electrical socket whenever needed.
I mean come on God, Mr. Almighty, All knowing... you really did NOT do the 7 P's on this one (For you non-Marine Corps Families... Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Preformance). You can figure out how to create gravity, make pretty colors, and can make one tiny Cell turn into a human being but you can't figure out that Mothers needed a little extra help with our little devils? Geshhh.....
9 OH Friggin Clock was when I went to bed last night people if you couldn't figure it out. What the hell? I am not that old.... I was exhausted and only because I am dealing with a Two Year Old Turkey... She runs circles around me and I am exhausted just watching her... never mind taking care of her. I remember being tired after working 8 hours, that wasn't shit... It isn't as bad as the newborn days... but it is a different tired. I think because it isn't lack of sleep so much as it is the mental challenge as having to deal with every little drama in child's life. Is it any wonder why I have ugly Blue Bags under my eyes or the silver highlights seem to be flourishing?
I went to Starbucks today while Em was in school. It was wonderful....
Some days I catch my self thinking about having another monster... I mean child. I stare into space thinking about the tiny little fat roll cuddled up on my chest feeling them breathe and listening to that cute little snore they do. Then my evil half reminds me of all the sleepless nights... and that is just while you're pregnant. I think of the "Schedule", the days and nights being mixed up, the having to bring the damn formula every place, Having a huge diaper bag (they should really call it a "kitchen bag since you have to bring everything in the fucking kitchen to make it through a half hour trip someplace),hurrying to get out and do what you have to do so you can be back as to not mess up the feeding or napping.... Then somewhere in that tired mental trance Emily comes up to me and wraps her little arms around my neck and plants a big fat messy "MMMMMMMMWhaaaaaaaa" on my lips and I know all of that crazy stuff is so worth it. She was worth it all... even the horrible delivery, the weeks at the NICU, the worry... the no sleeping ever.... all of it. Even when I am pretty sure I have lost what brain cells I have left after hearing her whine to be picked up for the millionth time in one day... she is so worth it. Then the sarcastic part of my brain kicks in and says "Really, do you want to do all that shit again?"....LOL Some days I think I do.... BUT please God if you do decide that it is right for Keith, Em, and myself, just do me a favor and provide me with the 3 essentials on my list...
Oh, by the way God... they have these things called Focus Groups now... I think if you were to ever improve the human race or decide to make another race of any kind that you should really have one of these prior to making them. It should be all women...
1. When we give birth we also grow another arm.
2. A Patch of Velcro grows on yours and the baby's hip to allow easier carrying.
3. Some sort of internal battery pack that can be charged up in an electrical socket whenever needed.
I mean come on God, Mr. Almighty, All knowing... you really did NOT do the 7 P's on this one (For you non-Marine Corps Families... Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Preformance). You can figure out how to create gravity, make pretty colors, and can make one tiny Cell turn into a human being but you can't figure out that Mothers needed a little extra help with our little devils? Geshhh.....
9 OH Friggin Clock was when I went to bed last night people if you couldn't figure it out. What the hell? I am not that old.... I was exhausted and only because I am dealing with a Two Year Old Turkey... She runs circles around me and I am exhausted just watching her... never mind taking care of her. I remember being tired after working 8 hours, that wasn't shit... It isn't as bad as the newborn days... but it is a different tired. I think because it isn't lack of sleep so much as it is the mental challenge as having to deal with every little drama in child's life. Is it any wonder why I have ugly Blue Bags under my eyes or the silver highlights seem to be flourishing?
I went to Starbucks today while Em was in school. It was wonderful....
Some days I catch my self thinking about having another monster... I mean child. I stare into space thinking about the tiny little fat roll cuddled up on my chest feeling them breathe and listening to that cute little snore they do. Then my evil half reminds me of all the sleepless nights... and that is just while you're pregnant. I think of the "Schedule", the days and nights being mixed up, the having to bring the damn formula every place, Having a huge diaper bag (they should really call it a "kitchen bag since you have to bring everything in the fucking kitchen to make it through a half hour trip someplace),hurrying to get out and do what you have to do so you can be back as to not mess up the feeding or napping.... Then somewhere in that tired mental trance Emily comes up to me and wraps her little arms around my neck and plants a big fat messy "MMMMMMMMWhaaaaaaaa" on my lips and I know all of that crazy stuff is so worth it. She was worth it all... even the horrible delivery, the weeks at the NICU, the worry... the no sleeping ever.... all of it. Even when I am pretty sure I have lost what brain cells I have left after hearing her whine to be picked up for the millionth time in one day... she is so worth it. Then the sarcastic part of my brain kicks in and says "Really, do you want to do all that shit again?"....LOL Some days I think I do.... BUT please God if you do decide that it is right for Keith, Em, and myself, just do me a favor and provide me with the 3 essentials on my list...
Oh, by the way God... they have these things called Focus Groups now... I think if you were to ever improve the human race or decide to make another race of any kind that you should really have one of these prior to making them. It should be all women...