You're so funny God
I believe that when I had my C-Section over two years ago that a chip of sorts was also placed in my ass cheeks. That must be what happened because I swear to God any one creature (either human or beast), living in this house hears sirens going off in their head when my ass hits a chair even for a splint second. Let me give you an example;
1.This morning another rare moment happened and I actually made a cup of coffee before Em woke up. I drag my sleepy ass over to my computer chair, barely touch the fabric and my cat starts mowing. " What the hell do you want Tash? Food? I just gave you fucking food last night before I went to bed, it isn't my fault your damn new boyfriend eats it all on you"
2. I get her food, approach my chair, bend over and the damn dogs start snorting and want to take a piss. "God DAMN it!!" I let them out...
3. Go to sit down and of course instantly they want back in. So I trot over to the door and let them in before they break the damn door down.
4. Go to sit again... Emily walks down the hall way. " JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUICE Mommy" I get her MILK, then she wants her "Nana", then she wants me to fix her banana, then I have to get a napkin because God forbid her little hands are dirty. I go to sit down and now she wants "Twoooo Moooooommy" Now I have to go and get her dang vitamins (She gets two). I go to sit down again and she comes over and starts pulling on my arm.
I want the surgery to get the chip out of my ass cheeks. I want to sit a whole 5 minutes without Keith demanding I see another video clip of a new release video game. Or without Em having a fit over something the instant I sit. Or the dogs barking, wanting to take a shit, the cat mowing over something, Keith telling me Em is pointing to the dog's asshole, Em just shit herself, spilt something all over the dang floor, fell down, or whining because she is in dire need of something acting like she is going to just die that instant.
Why is it that the instant I sit some big ass drama instantaneously starts? I also want to know why Keith doesn't have this chip installed in his ass cheeks... Why can he sit and play games for hours with no major drama happening? And if it does why does his ears stop working when he is in a sitting position? Is that a man thing... If so I want that installed in my ears as well.
That is all, carry on.
1.This morning another rare moment happened and I actually made a cup of coffee before Em woke up. I drag my sleepy ass over to my computer chair, barely touch the fabric and my cat starts mowing. " What the hell do you want Tash? Food? I just gave you fucking food last night before I went to bed, it isn't my fault your damn new boyfriend eats it all on you"
2. I get her food, approach my chair, bend over and the damn dogs start snorting and want to take a piss. "God DAMN it!!" I let them out...
3. Go to sit down and of course instantly they want back in. So I trot over to the door and let them in before they break the damn door down.
4. Go to sit again... Emily walks down the hall way. " JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUICE Mommy" I get her MILK, then she wants her "Nana", then she wants me to fix her banana, then I have to get a napkin because God forbid her little hands are dirty. I go to sit down and now she wants "Twoooo Moooooommy" Now I have to go and get her dang vitamins (She gets two). I go to sit down again and she comes over and starts pulling on my arm.
I want the surgery to get the chip out of my ass cheeks. I want to sit a whole 5 minutes without Keith demanding I see another video clip of a new release video game. Or without Em having a fit over something the instant I sit. Or the dogs barking, wanting to take a shit, the cat mowing over something, Keith telling me Em is pointing to the dog's asshole, Em just shit herself, spilt something all over the dang floor, fell down, or whining because she is in dire need of something acting like she is going to just die that instant.
Why is it that the instant I sit some big ass drama instantaneously starts? I also want to know why Keith doesn't have this chip installed in his ass cheeks... Why can he sit and play games for hours with no major drama happening? And if it does why does his ears stop working when he is in a sitting position? Is that a man thing... If so I want that installed in my ears as well.
That is all, carry on.