My Time
Once in a great while I get to wake up before Emily and not only start the coffee maker but I actually get to sit my ass down and drink some. This morning is one of those rare blessed moments. The dogs though tempted their future existence by standing by her door snorting (Yes, snorting, they do not have a snout so they snort like a pig), so loud that I wanted to punt them like a football down the hallway. Of course being the good person that I am I only whispered threats and profanity until they ran under my bed. Don't fuck with my morning cup of coffee dogs... The countdown is on and Keith will be walking in the door sometime this evening after being out in the field training again all week. It has been cold at night and he has gotten a cold of sorts. I am looking forward to seeing him, I am not however looking forward to the "Man Drama" of being sick. You all know what I mean.... A priority on my list this morning is buying a bottle of Nyquil. I plan on keeping him all nice, warm, toasty, and drugged up until he feels better.
Speaking of Keith and his training... Let me fill you in on a little phone call that I got from him out in the field this week.
Ring Ring...
Me - Hello
Keith - Hey, I need you to bring me something.
Me - (Thinking in my head he needs warmer attire as it is much colder here than it was last week) What
Keith - Do you have a pen?
Me - (Thinking "Oh fucking hell") Let me dig for one since I am in the car sitting in the driveway just getting back from running a bunch of friggin errands.... Okay
Keith - Okay, I need 5 Large Cheese Pizzas, and bags of Skittles and Starburst... You got that?
Me - Are you fucking kidding me? Are you doing Marine training or having a camping/pizza party?
People, this is the point where I hear a roar of laughter and he tells me I am on speakerphone.... Then he has the balls to ask me to go to a certain pizza shop all the way across town. Did he forget that we have a two year old? Ahhhh, I don't fucking think so.... You'll get your damn candy and pizza but I ain't driving all over timbucktwo to fucking get it. Not only that but when these guys do training it's out in the middle of nowhere on the base. So, I had to drive 45 minutes to bring him all this shit. Okay, so I did it... I don't know it that means I am a dumb ass or just a good Marine's wife....
Next week is going to be uber busy with the Ball. If you're lucky I might post some pictures. Keith better be a in a damn good mood for it. We spent a shit load of money just to go to this damn thing, I don't want to hear him piss and moan about how is neck is bothering him in his Blues all night. He better dance too damn it. It's not every day we get to have a few drinks and be out without the kido... If I can squeeze my fatness in a dress and not breathe for several hours than he can damn well suck it up and deal with his uniform! I have to admit I haven't really been looking foward to the Ball. It's the same damn thing every time but since I have it in my head that we are indeed going I have managed to start to look forward to it a bit. We haven't gone in a long time and who knows maybe we will enjoy it. It's been so long since Keith and I have done anything alone together... We really need to have a date night or something. The first year of Em's life we were so focused on her with everything she went through. Now though things are normal and it would be nice to just be able to relax now and then together... you know instead of just hanging out on the couch watching Survivor which seems to be our "date" for the past couple of years. Being though that we don't live around any family we really don't have that opportunity. Oh yeah, stuff has come up too like Keith going to war, you know normal every day life things....Next year he will be in Iraq again so we both just need to suck it up and enjoy it damn it!!
Emily has somehow got it in her head that by boobs are a slide. Yes people, like the slides kids shoot down on a playground. I was sitting on the couch and she came up to me and poked me in the boob and said "slide?"... Ahhhh, I know I had a boob job but I promise you my boobs are not so big that people get them confused with a piece of equipment on a playground. "No Em, they are not slides, they are boobies" This is when she proceeded to try to climb up my back and attempt to go down the slides... At first I tried to reason with her... "No Em, no, not slides, you can't climb Mommy it hurts"... still she is climbing on me. So I did what any sane mother would do and had a wrestling match with my two year old. She was so determined to go down the slides damn it she had a fit from hell when I wouldn't let her. I know those damn bags are going to pop one of these days people. AND don't ask me where she got the idea that my boobs were slides... how the fuck am I supposed to know why she thinks or does anything? She is 2, that is my only explanation... either that or I seriously need to go back and have my chest worked on if they really do look like a slide. That really wasn't the look I was going for.
Well, I guess I will get off my ass and do some shit now that I am out of coffee and seem to be out of words as well. Until later ...
Speaking of Keith and his training... Let me fill you in on a little phone call that I got from him out in the field this week.
Ring Ring...
Me - Hello
Keith - Hey, I need you to bring me something.
Me - (Thinking in my head he needs warmer attire as it is much colder here than it was last week) What
Keith - Do you have a pen?
Me - (Thinking "Oh fucking hell") Let me dig for one since I am in the car sitting in the driveway just getting back from running a bunch of friggin errands.... Okay
Keith - Okay, I need 5 Large Cheese Pizzas, and bags of Skittles and Starburst... You got that?
Me - Are you fucking kidding me? Are you doing Marine training or having a camping/pizza party?
People, this is the point where I hear a roar of laughter and he tells me I am on speakerphone.... Then he has the balls to ask me to go to a certain pizza shop all the way across town. Did he forget that we have a two year old? Ahhhh, I don't fucking think so.... You'll get your damn candy and pizza but I ain't driving all over timbucktwo to fucking get it. Not only that but when these guys do training it's out in the middle of nowhere on the base. So, I had to drive 45 minutes to bring him all this shit. Okay, so I did it... I don't know it that means I am a dumb ass or just a good Marine's wife....
Next week is going to be uber busy with the Ball. If you're lucky I might post some pictures. Keith better be a in a damn good mood for it. We spent a shit load of money just to go to this damn thing, I don't want to hear him piss and moan about how is neck is bothering him in his Blues all night. He better dance too damn it. It's not every day we get to have a few drinks and be out without the kido... If I can squeeze my fatness in a dress and not breathe for several hours than he can damn well suck it up and deal with his uniform! I have to admit I haven't really been looking foward to the Ball. It's the same damn thing every time but since I have it in my head that we are indeed going I have managed to start to look forward to it a bit. We haven't gone in a long time and who knows maybe we will enjoy it. It's been so long since Keith and I have done anything alone together... We really need to have a date night or something. The first year of Em's life we were so focused on her with everything she went through. Now though things are normal and it would be nice to just be able to relax now and then together... you know instead of just hanging out on the couch watching Survivor which seems to be our "date" for the past couple of years. Being though that we don't live around any family we really don't have that opportunity. Oh yeah, stuff has come up too like Keith going to war, you know normal every day life things....Next year he will be in Iraq again so we both just need to suck it up and enjoy it damn it!!
Emily has somehow got it in her head that by boobs are a slide. Yes people, like the slides kids shoot down on a playground. I was sitting on the couch and she came up to me and poked me in the boob and said "slide?"... Ahhhh, I know I had a boob job but I promise you my boobs are not so big that people get them confused with a piece of equipment on a playground. "No Em, they are not slides, they are boobies" This is when she proceeded to try to climb up my back and attempt to go down the slides... At first I tried to reason with her... "No Em, no, not slides, you can't climb Mommy it hurts"... still she is climbing on me. So I did what any sane mother would do and had a wrestling match with my two year old. She was so determined to go down the slides damn it she had a fit from hell when I wouldn't let her. I know those damn bags are going to pop one of these days people. AND don't ask me where she got the idea that my boobs were slides... how the fuck am I supposed to know why she thinks or does anything? She is 2, that is my only explanation... either that or I seriously need to go back and have my chest worked on if they really do look like a slide. That really wasn't the look I was going for.
Well, I guess I will get off my ass and do some shit now that I am out of coffee and seem to be out of words as well. Until later ...