Friday, February 02, 2007

Breathe

Mooooommmmmmyyyyyy....

I hear this word at least 5 thousand time a day. It gets much worse if I need to do something or am trying to carry on a conversation that does not involve Em. She can not stand it if she in not getting my undivided attention. What I would like her to do is stop her whining while saying my name, take a deep breath, and say the word Daddy the same way that she says mine over and over in a matter of seconds. Now, that would be a nice change.

I went grocery shopping yesterday. While putting things away I placed a brand new sealed tissue box on my dresser. Last night I found Emily on my bed with my new tissue box ripped open. On the bed was tissue paper torn to shreds in a million little pieces.

This morning at 6:30 Keith woke me upon telling me that something went wrong with the coffee maker. I layed in bed for a minute taking that in and decided I better get up. I walked into the kitchen to find the still plugged in coffee maker sitting in a pool of coffee and grinds.

I hate wood floors. You have to sweep them all the time or else you can feel the smallest amount of particle on your feet while walking. I sweep these damn floors all the time and they still look like shit. On Wednesday while Em was in daycare I took the opportunity to scrub the shit out of them. Last night (24 hours later), I walked through something sticky or crusty on the floor. I thought Em had dropped some sippy cup juice on the floor... Nope, it was piss of course. One of the dumb ass animals pissed on my damn clean floor. How I didn't notice is beyond me because I was home all damn day excluding when I went to the store but Keith was home. Let me find out who it was.... From now on I am going to take DNA samples from whatever piss I find.

This morning is trash morning. Keith took everything out to the corner except the bag that was still in the kitchen in case I needed to add anything to it. At 8am I heard the damn truck coming down the road and ran out there to add the bag. Em was highly upset that I left her in the house and ran outside after me. It is raining out... She was in footed Pajamas.... She took two steps on the grass before having a major freak out. Should I bother to tell you that it was not the garbage truck coming after all? It was a bus.

Okay, so I have said numerous times how much I HATE Myspace but I have a couple of friends who an account so I decided to create one again. I have been doing a lot of searches on it and finding some people/relatives that I can now keep in better touch with. I found my cousin's kids, other cousins that I haven't seen in years...Some old friends... Then I decided to look for some of the kids that I took care of in San Angelo while working in one of the schools. I had to take care of the kids that were in gangs and had a lot problems in their home life. So, naturally I have been curious as to see how some of them ended up. I had these kids while they were in Jr High and they have now graduated so I expected them to have changed. For the better... What I think happened while they were in High school was some trend started where having a baby was a cool accessory to have. Some of the girls didn't have just one either... I am not talking only a couple girls, or a few for that matter. I am talking a shit load of them. Then I looked into some of the guys... I had a lot of guys that were into gangs. It is disappointing to see that not much has changed or has gotten worse. I see them in pictures still throwing up signs. A lot of these "kids" called me Mom. I thought I might have made a difference to some... I wanted them to know that somebody gave a shit. I feel like emailing them and asking them what the hell they are doing... I went way out of my way for these kids. The first year was rough. I didn't know what I had gotten myself into. I was threatened physically everyday. I was cursed out constantly... I had to call the cops on a weekly basis if not daily on some occasions. I visited them in juvenile. I called them and their parents when they were not at school. When teachers told me they had done something wrong at school I went out of my way to track them down and try to talk to them. By the second year I had numerous students calling me Mom that didn't have any respect for their own parents. I genuinely cared about these students. To see some of their Myspaces and see that most of them have not changed, are still talking in Ghetto, and have kids upon that... Well, it makes me think that I was a dumbass for caring and I wasted a lot of my time. It sucks.

Tonight is date night. Em is going to daycare for 6:30. I am looking forward to having some adult fun and having the chance to unwind a bit. I will let ya know how it goes....

Later