Monday, March 19, 2007

Don't get pissy with me!

Once in awhile you have to take that step and go for it. You have to take the plunge, do the deed, get off your ass and just do it... It was 85 out, we were home not doing much, she was in a good mood.... So I get the bright idea to take her diaper off, let's officially start the potty training. After all she is going to be three in just a few weeks and everyone is up my ass about it. So off came the soaker up of urine and all things brown and gooey...

She
Was
Not
Happy


The First battle was the underwear battle. My child wants to do the latest trend and not wear any. After telling her numerous times that her hiney would be very yucky she decided she would wear some. They had to be Dora though and she had to put them on herself. I was not allowed in any way to touch the underwear and try to help her. After much yelling and screaming to herself she finally got them on. And so it begun...
She actually didn't do that badly the first day. She ran around with underwear on all evening and went about 6 times on the potty and only went through a couple of pairs of undies. It was the next day that God felt like he needed a good laugh....

I had just met a new Marine wife whose husband works with Keith. She has a daughter a year younger than Em and we thought it would be nice to get the girls together so they could play and we could have some adult interaction. Sounds like a plan. Until you add Emily in the equation.
Things started off okay, Emily was her normal shy self and clung to me like a dryer sheet. After a little while she warmed up, talked, and played. After a period of time Emily comes up to me and says she has to go potty. Fine, no problem, after all we are potty training and this is what you want them to do. So, off to the bathroom we go. She is not happy about having to sit on the potty with no child seat. We argue about that and she finally lets me hold her hands and she goes. Great. I have ONE pull up left and a diaper. I put the pull up on her and we go out to play again. About 10 minutes she tells me again she has to potty. LOVELY.
Again, off to the potty we go. Her last pull up is a bit wet and I throw it in the garbage. She goes potty. I get out the diaper... Let the temper tantrum from hell begin...
People. I had just met this woman. This was our first time at her house. Keith works with her husband. Her daughter is JUST turning two and she got a glimpse of what she is in for...
Emily screamed at the top of her lungs like a banshee trying to scare the shit out of a Irishmen. She was crying so hard she was shaking and turning blue because after all, it's hard to breathe when you are screaming nonstop. I would lay her down and TRY to put the diaper on her and she would fling her body around like she was possessed. This went on for about 20 minutes, I shit you not. I tried talking to her, holding her, you name it... Finally I had to ask this woman whom I just met to help me restrain my child so I could put the diaper on.

I
Was
Mortified

But what could I do? I can't have Em peeing all over this woman's floor... So, I eventually got the diaper on her and she went on to play as if nothing had ever happened. It took me about a half hour to regain the color back in my face.

Then
We
Went
Home

Emily no longer wanted to wear her diaper. So, we took it off. She put on underwear. Then the pee fest of 2007 began.
Em would say she had to use the potty, sit on it, dribble, think she was done, and get up. We would put on new underwear and she would be on her way. Maybe 2 minutes later she would wet through her underwear, go all over the floor and walk through it to go to the potty. This was my cycle of hell for the rest of the afternoon. HELL.
It is not fun cleaning up piss all day people. NOT FUN AT ALL!! I nearly had a heart attack from all the anxiety between piss cleaning, and the battle of the potty and underwear. Let's just say the next morning I went to the commissary and bought those pretty little pull ups with the princess on them that stays wet for them to feel. I am done cleaning up piss. I hate pull ups but I sure as shit hate cleaning up piss every couple of minutes more.
So, as I said, God had a good laugh because I had some lovely things to say all that day. I was waiting for the men with white coat to take me away...

I took another plunge yesterday. I signed myself up for horseback riding lessons. Why you say? When Keith retires from the Marine Corps I am getting a horse.Why you say? Because I have ALWAYS wanted one and this is one dream I am not going to allow to just pass by. I AM GETTING ONE! So, I found this very small non-commercial farm here and the owners are awesome. Not only are they going to teach me to ride (I have ridden before but not in a long time), but they are going to teach me the responsibilities of owning one. I am going to learn everything. To cleaning shit and bathing... I am so excited!! I start on Wednesday. We all went for a tour of the farm yesterday. I wouldn't say Keith understands why I want a horse but he knows how serious I am about it. He understands how badly I want this and is trying to be supportive and even telling people that I am getting a horse. He has even begun to look at homes in Texas with a few acres of land for that sole purpose. Now, I have to show him how serious I am and learn the responsibilities.
I have had this dream since I was little. When we would go to Georgia to visit my grandparents my sister and I would take riding lessons. I am not sure what I looked forward to more, the lessons or seeing my grandparents. Ever since I rode a horse I knew I wanted one. I might be from NY but I am a country girl at heart.... I have always thought about it and I now have the opportunity for the hands on experience. If I don't do this now I might never do it. I wouldn't say that everyone in my family "gets it", except maybe my mother who always said she wanted a horse as well. But I do know that everyone has a dream of their own and either you try to full it or you don't and regret it. I can say that there has been a lot of things in my life that I have said that I was going to do and never did. This is one of those things that I is so important to me, that I have thought about forever, and I want it to happen, so I am actually going to follow through with it...

Anyway, Ta Ta for now and thank God for Pull ups!