What's up Doc?
Emmy has been eating a ton of food lately. Not sure if she is going through a growing spurt OR if it is because I am holding her differently. You see at the NICU they had me hold her away from my body... She was a very poor eater so they didn't want her getting all warm and comfy while eating. Well, I decided the other day I wanted to try cradling her to see how she did. She ate like a piggy! She is very calm while eating, paces herself, doesn't lurch... it is a very nice change. Sometimes it is hard for me to decided to step away from what the Dr's tell me. Maybe it was right at the time but it sure isn't now. I enjoy feeding her alot more and it is nice to have her looking up at me while she eats. Another thing the Docs keep telling me is not to let her suck on her fingers or thumb. I think she should be able to if she wants to and I am going to let her. I know they say it is bad for their teeth but she is my daughter with my genes and she is probably going to need braces anyway. Besides, she hasn't taken well to a pacifier and her fingers are very handy!
She smiles a lot more now but she is still my grumpy baby! She probably scowls just as much as she smiles if not more. It is fun to watch all her faces that she makes.
Emily likes to listen to me sing alot now too... poor thing doesn't have a clue as to what good music is! She kicks and laughs the whole time. She seems to be liking me more and more as time goes on... I was worried for awhile that she didn't like me but I guess she does!
It is very strange how when you become a mother that you can cry at the drop of a dime when it comes to kids. It is very hard for me to watch that show Special Delivery now without thinking of Emmy... they always have babies in the NICU on that show, I am always amazed how well Emmy did in comparison to other babies. Sometimes while I am holding her I think of when she was first born, how small she was, how weak she looked. Deep down inside I wasn't sure she was going to make it. It was hard not being with her and having to leave her not always being sure she would be there later. Everyday she overcame a hurdle, she fought and still does. I don't think there is a minute that goes by or ever will that I won't remember what a gift she is. Even during the late nights of screaming I just think either she could be here screaming or she could not, it is that simple. Sometimes I catch her looking up and smiling, staring at something above her and I wonder if it is angels she is laughing at. Maybe my cousin Sherry is making faces at her or my friend Timmy is tickling her... maybe my great grandmother is batting a fly away or my grandfather keeping the dogs at bay... Maybe they were all there keeping vigil while I couldn't giving her their strength. I hope they are with her now and always...
I keep telling Keith that I want another. I really want to try again soon. I am on the older side and I think it would be nice down the road to have the kids so close in age. Not at first with the diapers and all that stuff... But then again I don't want to go through all that stuff again. Do I really want to gamble on that happening again... I guess I need to talk with the Docs and see what they say about it.
Well, enough for now. I think Emmy is sort of awake in her swing... Later
She smiles a lot more now but she is still my grumpy baby! She probably scowls just as much as she smiles if not more. It is fun to watch all her faces that she makes.
Emily likes to listen to me sing alot now too... poor thing doesn't have a clue as to what good music is! She kicks and laughs the whole time. She seems to be liking me more and more as time goes on... I was worried for awhile that she didn't like me but I guess she does!
It is very strange how when you become a mother that you can cry at the drop of a dime when it comes to kids. It is very hard for me to watch that show Special Delivery now without thinking of Emmy... they always have babies in the NICU on that show, I am always amazed how well Emmy did in comparison to other babies. Sometimes while I am holding her I think of when she was first born, how small she was, how weak she looked. Deep down inside I wasn't sure she was going to make it. It was hard not being with her and having to leave her not always being sure she would be there later. Everyday she overcame a hurdle, she fought and still does. I don't think there is a minute that goes by or ever will that I won't remember what a gift she is. Even during the late nights of screaming I just think either she could be here screaming or she could not, it is that simple. Sometimes I catch her looking up and smiling, staring at something above her and I wonder if it is angels she is laughing at. Maybe my cousin Sherry is making faces at her or my friend Timmy is tickling her... maybe my great grandmother is batting a fly away or my grandfather keeping the dogs at bay... Maybe they were all there keeping vigil while I couldn't giving her their strength. I hope they are with her now and always...
I keep telling Keith that I want another. I really want to try again soon. I am on the older side and I think it would be nice down the road to have the kids so close in age. Not at first with the diapers and all that stuff... But then again I don't want to go through all that stuff again. Do I really want to gamble on that happening again... I guess I need to talk with the Docs and see what they say about it.
Well, enough for now. I think Emmy is sort of awake in her swing... Later