Times 2
Back again... I was working on my template and decided what the hec, I'll write again today. Em is asleep now. She was so tired after going out today. She was ready to go around 7:30. Anyway, It is funny how I miss her even when she is sleeping. I think that is partly why I go and check on her 100 times a night, just to see her. She looks so big in her crib now. I remember when she was so tiny in it. I can't believe in a few weeks she is going to be one years old. I miss her being a newborn but look forward to the future. It is fun being able to interact with her now. She gives me kisses now...big sloppy kisses! She opens her mouth wide open and slobers all over my cheeks.... it is the best kisses in the world... She has started to say Mama now. My heart swells with love everytime I hear it... of course some will say in time I will hear it all day long and will be tired of it. I don't think that I could ever bear to never hear it. There was a time not long ago that I thought it would never happen, and here I am. A mother of a beautiful little girl who has just learned to say Mama, something so simple and small for a baby to say but such huge gift she has given me.
I love being a mother to Emily. I know I get stressed a lot but I think that is just me...not because I am a mother. I have those wacky genes that make me a stress case....
I love being a mother so much I want to be pregnant now... I know your thinking "why can't you just be happy that you just had one?" I am. I know it took 10 years to get pregant but I want another one BUT if it doesn't happen I am 100% fine with that too. I want to actually enjoy a pregnancy, not be a freak a whole time. I want to have a healthy normal experience this time. I want to have a baby naturally with Keith counting contractions. I want Em to wear the "I am the big sister" T-shirt when she comes in to meet her new sister or brother. I want to feel another child growing inside of me, moving, and loving another child as much as I love Emily for the moment I knew they existed. I want to watch Emily give Butterfly kisses to the baby... I want them to grow together, to have eachother always no matter what. I want hectic holidays, big birthdays, and "mom tell them to stop touching me" arguments in the car. I want it all. I want to look at another child and see Keith's reflection in their face. I want to look at another child like I look at Emily now and feel the same love and awe. It is in God's hand though, whatever he has planned is fine with me, I am thankful for all he has given me already.
Well, I think I will read a bit then go to bed. I added some stuff to the blog when you scroll to the bottom of the page. I plan on updating the calendar so you can see what is going on in Em's life...There are also links on the side. Hope you like the changes so far, I plan on making some more soon. Have a good night. Ta-ta for now...
I love being a mother to Emily. I know I get stressed a lot but I think that is just me...not because I am a mother. I have those wacky genes that make me a stress case....
I love being a mother so much I want to be pregnant now... I know your thinking "why can't you just be happy that you just had one?" I am. I know it took 10 years to get pregant but I want another one BUT if it doesn't happen I am 100% fine with that too. I want to actually enjoy a pregnancy, not be a freak a whole time. I want to have a healthy normal experience this time. I want to have a baby naturally with Keith counting contractions. I want Em to wear the "I am the big sister" T-shirt when she comes in to meet her new sister or brother. I want to feel another child growing inside of me, moving, and loving another child as much as I love Emily for the moment I knew they existed. I want to watch Emily give Butterfly kisses to the baby... I want them to grow together, to have eachother always no matter what. I want hectic holidays, big birthdays, and "mom tell them to stop touching me" arguments in the car. I want it all. I want to look at another child and see Keith's reflection in their face. I want to look at another child like I look at Emily now and feel the same love and awe. It is in God's hand though, whatever he has planned is fine with me, I am thankful for all he has given me already.
Well, I think I will read a bit then go to bed. I added some stuff to the blog when you scroll to the bottom of the page. I plan on updating the calendar so you can see what is going on in Em's life...There are also links on the side. Hope you like the changes so far, I plan on making some more soon. Have a good night. Ta-ta for now...