Nursing Home Fun
Once in a while I think God gets a little bored and enjoys a little comic relief in the form of my life. My father asked me to go visit my Grandmother today at the nursing home (See pictures of her feet a few post below...). Not that she would know any difference from me and the mailman I decided to go anyway. I do love her and have many happy childhood memories of our life together... it is just sad seeing someone you spent so much apart of your life with and now they don't even know you.... But anyway.... I get Em all bundled up in the normal winter attire in which she no longer has function over her limbs and we are off. We go in the nursing home and there is Grandma out in the lobby with other residents looking at me trying to remember me. Yes, I am related to you all.... It is about 120 degrees in the home so I start getting Em quickly undressed from her winter attire before she passes out and dies all while trying to smile nicely at the older people who are staring at the youth who looks like a standing snow angel. Once that was accomplished we began our conversation with Gram..
*My Grandmother Hums 24/7 so this conversation must be thought of with humming in the background or it is not the same...
Gram - "She is a doll, who is she, what is her name?"
Dad - "That is Emily, she is one (Turns to me to make sure he is right), she is Julie's daughter Mom, do you remember Julie?"
Gram - "Oh you're Julie? You look good"
Me - "So do you Gram"
Gram " How old is she Gary ? (my dad)"
Dad looks at me and asks how old she is...
Me - " She is 20 months, almost two"
Dad - "She is 20 months, almost two"
Gram - "What's her name?
Dad "Emily, she is almost two"
Gram - "She is a doll" "So what have you been up to?"
My Dad turns to her and says " An Atomic bomb hit the world yesterday and we are the only living people left in the world" Turns to me and makes a face....
About this time Em had discovered all the people looking at her and decided she needed to spin in circles for them... Then she discovered the Barco colored chairs and decided she needed to try to get up in each one of them... After that she discovered her new favorite toy... My Grandmothers Walker. Upon this discovery Emily decided she would put on a parade for all the residents in the nursing home with her new toy up and down the hallways. Oh the cheering and laughing, and smiles she acquired... The princess was oh so happy until her Evil Mommy told her it was time to go... Emily showed the residents exactly what the devil looks like and gave them many a reason to pray for their remaining time on earth that they do indeed want to go to Heaven.
Then there is Keith's parents or should I say his Father who has yet to understand that Emily is indeed a girl... The first time I brought Em to their house after we arrived here in NY I decided to dress her real girly to look pretty for her Grandparents. She had a pink Oncie with a pink dress and white stockings on.... The very first thing out of Keith's Dad's mouth was " Jesus, who the Hell dressed you?" Ummm, she is a girl, girls wear pink and they wear dresses.... The second time we met up with them we went to the mall and I put her hair up in mini pigtails and he asked why the hell I kept putting her hair up.. Ummm, again, she is a girl and girls do things to their hair... Especially little girls, they put pigtails in their hair... So, tomorrow we are seeing them again and I am wondering what he is going to say this time...
I know he doesn't mean anything by it, he just hasn't been around girls too much I guess. So, to my sister in law.... I hope you have a girl when the time comes...LOL
Shopping has become a whole new experience. Notice I didn't say Good experience. I am pretty sure I can safely say that Emily hates shopping and will do whatever she can to try to make me want to leave. This includes screaming, crying, whining, lunging her body backwards, refusing to be in a stroller, refusing to be in a cart, and having her body go limp dropping to the ground and laying on the floor of the store. Not only that but she has quickly learned that she can and does manipulate my parent's emotions while doing it. "Poor Emily, what is the matter Emily, Mommy is an evil Mommy isn't she?" Okay, maybe they don't say that but they might as well... My daughter has decided that she wants nothing to do with me when her Grandparents are around during her temper tantrums and waits for Grandma and Grandpa's sympathy because of WHO SHE has to live with.... UNBELIEVABLE! Let me tell ya "Grandma and Grandpa" she really IS the devil, you just have those Grandparent Blinders on!!
So anyway people besides Christmas shopping and putting up with a over-tired temper tantrum throwing toddler there hasn't been too much to report on... I will talk to you later... TA TA for now!
Oh, can't let you go without another conversation I had with a resident from the home today...
Res - "Do you keep her in a Playpen all day"
Me - "Ah, no, why"
Res -"Because if you do that is probably why she is so hyper."
Me -" I don't contain her in anything, she goes wherever she wants and she is always this hyper, she never sits still, ever..."
Res " I have never seen a child so busy before, no wonder why you are so skinny, back in my day we used to put the playpens upside down like a cage and keep the child contained that way, that is how we got things done"
Me - "Ah, okay...Bye"
Me - Emily, let's go find Grandpa and don't worry, I would never put you in a upside down playpen... maybe a dog kennel...Just kidding Emily, See I am not that evil am I?"
Gotta love the conversation in the nursing home....
*My Grandmother Hums 24/7 so this conversation must be thought of with humming in the background or it is not the same...
Gram - "She is a doll, who is she, what is her name?"
Dad - "That is Emily, she is one (Turns to me to make sure he is right), she is Julie's daughter Mom, do you remember Julie?"
Gram - "Oh you're Julie? You look good"
Me - "So do you Gram"
Gram " How old is she Gary ? (my dad)"
Dad looks at me and asks how old she is...
Me - " She is 20 months, almost two"
Dad - "She is 20 months, almost two"
Gram - "What's her name?
Dad "Emily, she is almost two"
Gram - "She is a doll" "So what have you been up to?"
My Dad turns to her and says " An Atomic bomb hit the world yesterday and we are the only living people left in the world" Turns to me and makes a face....
About this time Em had discovered all the people looking at her and decided she needed to spin in circles for them... Then she discovered the Barco colored chairs and decided she needed to try to get up in each one of them... After that she discovered her new favorite toy... My Grandmothers Walker. Upon this discovery Emily decided she would put on a parade for all the residents in the nursing home with her new toy up and down the hallways. Oh the cheering and laughing, and smiles she acquired... The princess was oh so happy until her Evil Mommy told her it was time to go... Emily showed the residents exactly what the devil looks like and gave them many a reason to pray for their remaining time on earth that they do indeed want to go to Heaven.
Then there is Keith's parents or should I say his Father who has yet to understand that Emily is indeed a girl... The first time I brought Em to their house after we arrived here in NY I decided to dress her real girly to look pretty for her Grandparents. She had a pink Oncie with a pink dress and white stockings on.... The very first thing out of Keith's Dad's mouth was " Jesus, who the Hell dressed you?" Ummm, she is a girl, girls wear pink and they wear dresses.... The second time we met up with them we went to the mall and I put her hair up in mini pigtails and he asked why the hell I kept putting her hair up.. Ummm, again, she is a girl and girls do things to their hair... Especially little girls, they put pigtails in their hair... So, tomorrow we are seeing them again and I am wondering what he is going to say this time...
I know he doesn't mean anything by it, he just hasn't been around girls too much I guess. So, to my sister in law.... I hope you have a girl when the time comes...LOL
Shopping has become a whole new experience. Notice I didn't say Good experience. I am pretty sure I can safely say that Emily hates shopping and will do whatever she can to try to make me want to leave. This includes screaming, crying, whining, lunging her body backwards, refusing to be in a stroller, refusing to be in a cart, and having her body go limp dropping to the ground and laying on the floor of the store. Not only that but she has quickly learned that she can and does manipulate my parent's emotions while doing it. "Poor Emily, what is the matter Emily, Mommy is an evil Mommy isn't she?" Okay, maybe they don't say that but they might as well... My daughter has decided that she wants nothing to do with me when her Grandparents are around during her temper tantrums and waits for Grandma and Grandpa's sympathy because of WHO SHE has to live with.... UNBELIEVABLE! Let me tell ya "Grandma and Grandpa" she really IS the devil, you just have those Grandparent Blinders on!!
So anyway people besides Christmas shopping and putting up with a over-tired temper tantrum throwing toddler there hasn't been too much to report on... I will talk to you later... TA TA for now!
Oh, can't let you go without another conversation I had with a resident from the home today...
Res - "Do you keep her in a Playpen all day"
Me - "Ah, no, why"
Res -"Because if you do that is probably why she is so hyper."
Me -" I don't contain her in anything, she goes wherever she wants and she is always this hyper, she never sits still, ever..."
Res " I have never seen a child so busy before, no wonder why you are so skinny, back in my day we used to put the playpens upside down like a cage and keep the child contained that way, that is how we got things done"
Me - "Ah, okay...Bye"
Me - Emily, let's go find Grandpa and don't worry, I would never put you in a upside down playpen... maybe a dog kennel...Just kidding Emily, See I am not that evil am I?"
Gotta love the conversation in the nursing home....