I have a little Problem
Okay, it's nothing major... I REALLY want to post Emmy's Christmas pictures BUT then my family will see the pictures they are going to get in their cards... Hmmm, what to do, what to do? You see people, I took these pictures myself... and for the first time I am actually kind of proud of what I did. I am not one to brag about myself... EVER.... But I think these came out pretty good. I really like them because I LOVE how beautiful Emily looks in them. I love the facial expressions I managed to capture. So... should I or should I just wait until I get all the cards in the mail? *Sigh*... I don't know!
I put Em to bed tonight and a half hour later I was missing her already... What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just relax and enjoy the time I have to myself? I don't know, good question. I was thinking about this earlier. I think it is because I talked with my parents earlier and my sister is at their house spending the night away from the kidos. I guess she has to be to work really really really early in the morning and my parents live close to her job so she decided to stay there. I just can't imagine what it is like to be away from your kid(s). I have never done it before. The longest that I have been away from Em was last year at Kari and Ian's wedding reception. That is it. Oh wait, I guess the whole NICU thing too but that doesn't really count. Anyway, I am so busy all the time that I think I have forgotten what it is like to actually relax. I mean even at night I don't sleep more than 5 or 6 hours and it is NEVER constant. I wake up all the time... Before I had Emily I lived like a Cat... I slept and napped all the time. Those days are long gone.
I just can't imagine being away from Em for a whole night... WHAT WOULD I DO? I mean if I get bored after a half hour and miss her that much after that short amount of time what the hell would I do for that long? Not only that, but I just can't sit still anymore. I try... I see something on TV and I TRY to sit and watch it. But 5 minutes into it and I am thinking about if I should be doing some work around the house or whatever else I might have to do. I know you people are thinking it is because Keith is gone and I just have allot going on... True but I actually think I have been like this since Em was born. It is always non-stop once you have a baby. Nobody tells you EXACTLY what it is going to be like. Your expecting to be all in the new mother glow, happy, cooing over your newborn, picking out cute little outfits for them to wear, blah blah blah.... NOBODY ever tells you the truth.... How you sleep on the average of 1-2 hours a night for months, How you always have spit up, boogers, and poop all over you even though you changed 5 times during the day... That when you change their diaper they will piss all over you and everything else.... The magnitude of laundry a newborn can compile, Oh Yeah, and here is the big one... THE STRESS OF THEM EATING ENOUGH... Lord help me, I remember those days of thinking my child was going to die because she wasn't eating the recommended ounce in take that day! Then there is everything that comes along with them getting older... the stress of all the milestones... mobility, you can't wait for them to move and then when they do they get into everything and you want them to go back to not moving again.... You have Toys R Us in your living room.... You repeat yourself about 500 times a day.... Temper Tantrums, Teething... and the list goes on... So why people, why do I miss her so much when she goes to bed? I just can't imagine my life without her... Her little kisses and hugs are enough to bring tears to my eyes... Her little voice saying "Maaaaaaaa" and her Big brown eyes melts my heart. Because the little things she does that brings a smile to my face is so much better than of the hard things that come along with being a parent. Tonight after her bath she was laying on my bed wanting me to smell her feet... It is her new thing. I have to take her feet and smell them and tell her how stinky there are over and over... My back is killing me from bending over for 15 minutes now, she has kicked me in the nose so many times I have lost count... but yet seeing her laugh and giggle was worth every minute... Then afterwards we do "Eskimo kisses" and she giggles some more and plays with my hair and makes her "Nanana" noise... I am going to have a hard time sharing her in NY....LOL
So anyway, I think since allot of the baby stuff has ended I have had more time for myself and I am not used to that. Em is allot of work still but some things have gotten allot easier. I think I am adjusting to her independence... Maybe that is all it is.... Maybe after 19 months I am finally getting some time to sit for the first time and I just don't know what to do with myself. Whatever... who care..LoL Maybe I should get off the computer and get some sleep for change!
Later people
I put Em to bed tonight and a half hour later I was missing her already... What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just relax and enjoy the time I have to myself? I don't know, good question. I was thinking about this earlier. I think it is because I talked with my parents earlier and my sister is at their house spending the night away from the kidos. I guess she has to be to work really really really early in the morning and my parents live close to her job so she decided to stay there. I just can't imagine what it is like to be away from your kid(s). I have never done it before. The longest that I have been away from Em was last year at Kari and Ian's wedding reception. That is it. Oh wait, I guess the whole NICU thing too but that doesn't really count. Anyway, I am so busy all the time that I think I have forgotten what it is like to actually relax. I mean even at night I don't sleep more than 5 or 6 hours and it is NEVER constant. I wake up all the time... Before I had Emily I lived like a Cat... I slept and napped all the time. Those days are long gone.
I just can't imagine being away from Em for a whole night... WHAT WOULD I DO? I mean if I get bored after a half hour and miss her that much after that short amount of time what the hell would I do for that long? Not only that, but I just can't sit still anymore. I try... I see something on TV and I TRY to sit and watch it. But 5 minutes into it and I am thinking about if I should be doing some work around the house or whatever else I might have to do. I know you people are thinking it is because Keith is gone and I just have allot going on... True but I actually think I have been like this since Em was born. It is always non-stop once you have a baby. Nobody tells you EXACTLY what it is going to be like. Your expecting to be all in the new mother glow, happy, cooing over your newborn, picking out cute little outfits for them to wear, blah blah blah.... NOBODY ever tells you the truth.... How you sleep on the average of 1-2 hours a night for months, How you always have spit up, boogers, and poop all over you even though you changed 5 times during the day... That when you change their diaper they will piss all over you and everything else.... The magnitude of laundry a newborn can compile, Oh Yeah, and here is the big one... THE STRESS OF THEM EATING ENOUGH... Lord help me, I remember those days of thinking my child was going to die because she wasn't eating the recommended ounce in take that day! Then there is everything that comes along with them getting older... the stress of all the milestones... mobility, you can't wait for them to move and then when they do they get into everything and you want them to go back to not moving again.... You have Toys R Us in your living room.... You repeat yourself about 500 times a day.... Temper Tantrums, Teething... and the list goes on... So why people, why do I miss her so much when she goes to bed? I just can't imagine my life without her... Her little kisses and hugs are enough to bring tears to my eyes... Her little voice saying "Maaaaaaaa" and her Big brown eyes melts my heart. Because the little things she does that brings a smile to my face is so much better than of the hard things that come along with being a parent. Tonight after her bath she was laying on my bed wanting me to smell her feet... It is her new thing. I have to take her feet and smell them and tell her how stinky there are over and over... My back is killing me from bending over for 15 minutes now, she has kicked me in the nose so many times I have lost count... but yet seeing her laugh and giggle was worth every minute... Then afterwards we do "Eskimo kisses" and she giggles some more and plays with my hair and makes her "Nanana" noise... I am going to have a hard time sharing her in NY....LOL
So anyway, I think since allot of the baby stuff has ended I have had more time for myself and I am not used to that. Em is allot of work still but some things have gotten allot easier. I think I am adjusting to her independence... Maybe that is all it is.... Maybe after 19 months I am finally getting some time to sit for the first time and I just don't know what to do with myself. Whatever... who care..LoL Maybe I should get off the computer and get some sleep for change!
Later people