Lucky Dog
Bree is very lucky to be alive tonight for two reasons.
1. As I was bringing Em outside to play tonight Bree ran out the front door and into the street. Lucky her that there was no cars coming....
2. She is damn lucky I didn't kill her for the hell she put me through trying to get her....
Okay people, There is no way that you people think I am more crazy than my neighbors after what happened tonight. I am sure by now I have been declared the looney person of the neighborhood. Here I am trying to be the good Mom and play with my daughter outside (ya know, fresh air and all that shit)... What does my damn dog do? Not one half a second after I open the door she bats out of it like a hound after a fox. Lord knows what she saw but by the time I had blinked she was already across the street and running, running, and more running. Now, if it had been Tucker to get out he would have heard the craziness in my voice and stopped, not to mention he is too lazy to run that hard for that long.... BUT Bree... she never listens, NEVER.... AND she comes from a long line of agility dogs and it showed today.... I have never seen a dog run so fast, not even a Greyhound. Anyway, so by the time I can think Bree is way far away, I can barely see her. I grab Em and run... Yeah, that is right people, I grabbed my 22 pound kid and ran. Not just across the street but for exactly 20 minutes... full fledge running. Do you know what Emmy was doing during this...laughing her ass off! She was leaping up and down on my hip like she was riding a horse all the while laughing like I was taking her on the greatest adventure ride of her life. Soooo... here I am running after the agility dog from hell with a squealing baby on my hip and I am swearing at the dog. Kids are out playing, mothers watching the kids, fathers mowing or washing their cars.... I am running in people's front yards and back yards saying "You fucking dog" "I swear to God I am going to kill you" ... yeah, did that. So, Bree is still running and I am trying to run with Em and say things like "Cookie, Come here Bree"... 5 Minutes into it and I am panting in the same heaviness as Bree herself. Some boys playing football stop to watch me and I stop for like half a second... I am bending over feeling like I'm gonna vomit... I TRY to yell to them "Please help me get my dog" but all that comes out is "Please, dog"..... So they try to "round" her up and she goes bazerk and runs even faster which I really didn't know was possible. Really at that point I could feel the despair seeping in every pore and all I wanted to do was put Em down and crawl into the fetal position and ask God to strike me down.... But I didn't, I just ran some more yelling more obscenities to the dog. I swear to God that Damn dog ran at the very least 20 houses down, in and out of yards and all around the millions of trampolines on base. I bet your wondering how I got her... I didn't... The friggin dog ran home with me on her tail and waited for me to open the door for her. She is lucky I didn't kick her ass in the door and flatten her ass like a pancake on the ceiling. When we got in the door Em was yelling and screaming at me because her favorite ride was over.... I just layed on the floor until the world stopped spinning... Damn Dog!
1. As I was bringing Em outside to play tonight Bree ran out the front door and into the street. Lucky her that there was no cars coming....
2. She is damn lucky I didn't kill her for the hell she put me through trying to get her....
Okay people, There is no way that you people think I am more crazy than my neighbors after what happened tonight. I am sure by now I have been declared the looney person of the neighborhood. Here I am trying to be the good Mom and play with my daughter outside (ya know, fresh air and all that shit)... What does my damn dog do? Not one half a second after I open the door she bats out of it like a hound after a fox. Lord knows what she saw but by the time I had blinked she was already across the street and running, running, and more running. Now, if it had been Tucker to get out he would have heard the craziness in my voice and stopped, not to mention he is too lazy to run that hard for that long.... BUT Bree... she never listens, NEVER.... AND she comes from a long line of agility dogs and it showed today.... I have never seen a dog run so fast, not even a Greyhound. Anyway, so by the time I can think Bree is way far away, I can barely see her. I grab Em and run... Yeah, that is right people, I grabbed my 22 pound kid and ran. Not just across the street but for exactly 20 minutes... full fledge running. Do you know what Emmy was doing during this...laughing her ass off! She was leaping up and down on my hip like she was riding a horse all the while laughing like I was taking her on the greatest adventure ride of her life. Soooo... here I am running after the agility dog from hell with a squealing baby on my hip and I am swearing at the dog. Kids are out playing, mothers watching the kids, fathers mowing or washing their cars.... I am running in people's front yards and back yards saying "You fucking dog" "I swear to God I am going to kill you" ... yeah, did that. So, Bree is still running and I am trying to run with Em and say things like "Cookie, Come here Bree"... 5 Minutes into it and I am panting in the same heaviness as Bree herself. Some boys playing football stop to watch me and I stop for like half a second... I am bending over feeling like I'm gonna vomit... I TRY to yell to them "Please help me get my dog" but all that comes out is "Please, dog"..... So they try to "round" her up and she goes bazerk and runs even faster which I really didn't know was possible. Really at that point I could feel the despair seeping in every pore and all I wanted to do was put Em down and crawl into the fetal position and ask God to strike me down.... But I didn't, I just ran some more yelling more obscenities to the dog. I swear to God that Damn dog ran at the very least 20 houses down, in and out of yards and all around the millions of trampolines on base. I bet your wondering how I got her... I didn't... The friggin dog ran home with me on her tail and waited for me to open the door for her. She is lucky I didn't kick her ass in the door and flatten her ass like a pancake on the ceiling. When we got in the door Em was yelling and screaming at me because her favorite ride was over.... I just layed on the floor until the world stopped spinning... Damn Dog!