Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The New Yorker within...

You may or may not know but I am from NY.., When your involved with the Military you call where you came from your "home". Seems strange to do so since I haven't lived there for 11 years and technically I am a bonafide Texan now. Yup, that is right, the place I thought was made of all crazy people when I first landed in Dallas Fort Worth is now the place where I own a home. I don't live there but I am a Texan according to the Government. The place of Big haired women, tight Wrangler wearing, cowboy hat, actually go to a Rodeo, say Y'all, and Steak is a considered the only real meat State is what License I have in my wallet. BUT where my family lives, where I grew up is New York. So, as a kid growing up any boy last name that had an "O" in it is somebody I was sure to have a crush on. Dicocco, Derazio, Decaprio, Antanazio.... you get my point. Also growing up in New York no matter if you grew up in the City or Upstate you are guaranteed to have an attitude. Or if you are a woman, you are a Bitch at some level. It happens to us all.
Since I haven't lived in NY for awhile now I have managed to suppress the Bitch within. I am nice to people, I make eye contact with people, I don't swear at people I don't know out in public, I don't point my middle finger at people while driving... It's all good, until yesterday. People, This Bitch pissed me off... I guess to anyone else it wasn't really much of anything because to Elaine, she just didn't get it.
You see, all I wanted to do was go to the store Michaels (sorry Ian, they don't have your craft store here), and get a premade Yellow ribbon for my door. So, Elaine and I do the walk through and don't find one. Fine, I will go to the clerk and as her.
Me - "Excuse me, do you have any yellow ribbons" ( I admit I forgot to ask for a premade one)
Bitch - " Ahh..., they are down the ribbon aisle"
Okay, let us stop here. This is when the NY Bitch within wanted to come out. I mean, come on, she said it all snide like I was a dumb ass for even asking her. I refrained from Bitch slapping her though so that is pretty good on my part.
continue...
Me - *Takes a deep breath and makes a face where my jaw bone is protruding out* " Well, do you THINK you can tell me where that is?"
Bitch *Points her finger to the middle of the store* "It is there under the Ribbon sign"
Me - *Doing this prayer in my head* "Dear God, please help me not to Bitch slap this Fucking Bitch" Yes, people I said this to God, I know....
At this point I left the Clerk spitting and sputtering... Bitch this and Bitch that.... But see, the point is, I didn't slap her, I didn't actually call her a Bitch to her face... so I think that is pretty good! If I was actually in NY though I think I might have actually HAD to have said something, it is just something that happens to me while I am there... It rubs off on you.
So, anyway, Got that out....
Em keeps coming up to me and yelling so I think she wants me to get off my ass and play with her... I think she has a little NY in her too...
Later people.